Ya Muqallibal-Quluub,
Thabbit Qulubana 'ala Diinik

About Me
Hana' Wan Harun aka Hana' Fathiah
Married to the macho Mazri Mahmood
Guar Perahu,
Bkt Mertajam,Penang
Bloomington,IN
Tanjung Malim, Perak
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Monday, October 31, 2005

Demam lagi...

Assalamualaykum wht,

Here I am, sitting in my cozy bed with a laptop on my lap, a financial management textbook on a pile of pillows on my right, three little bon bon chocolates that I am about to eat on my left, and another thing I need right now is a hot french vanilla coffee that I am too lazy to make. Well, maybe later..

There's no mood of sambutan aidil fitri or whatsoever in the air of my apartment. Yup, schools can make you nuts sometimes. When I sneezed more than 3 times in a row last night, I know what was coming to get me. Baguih dok ada.. I need this flu, or this cold, ehrrrmm..well, I don't know what it is but a little sickness should membasuh my dosa-dosa, and I think that's a good thing in a way...right? :)

I just wanna share my little observation, could be wrong, could be right.
When I went to my window this morning, I saw no clouds, the atmosphere was calm, no bright sun, so... I thought that maybe last night, the 27th of Ramadhan, was the night of al-Qadr..heh, not sure though..entah2 memang hari2 the mornings kat Bloomington ni macam nih, Fall dan kesejukan dah started lama dah...(^-^)

Kalau kat Guar Perahu, Ammar, Amir, mak and I selalu dok bincang about it. And macam mana pun I always argued, mesti at the end kitowang akan agree ngan tok sheikh- tok sheikh tu, I always guesseed wrong anyway...huhuhu...

Hmm..I suppose at this time Guar Perahu dah sibuk ngan semua yang balik dari Taman Melawati, Kuala Nerang, Selayang Jaya, Kerteh, Sri Petaling, Nibung Tebal.

Ramadhan kareem all,... sniff!!



First Fall 2002 - view from a car in front of Tulip Tree Apartment


posted by Hana' at 10/31/2005 10:08:00 AM |

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

Will dreams come true?

Assalamualaykum wht,

Something happened to me that never happened before.
I think it already happened to me twice...

I was dreaming, and in my dream, I was listening to a beautiful nasyeed...
It was so beautiful, yet I have never heard it in my whole life.
It is so beautiful that when I woke up, I can still remember how the nasyeed goes, faintly..

Can dreams do that? Or is it because I am pretty much obsessed with nasyeed, sampai dalam mimpi pun I can hear a new, beautifully written one? (^ - ^)
I could have became an excellent composer than..heheh...

Ramadhan Kareem, all...


posted by Hana' at 10/29/2005 02:37:00 PM |

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Friday, October 28, 2005

Assalamualaykum wht,

Selamat Hari Lahir

We started out as friends when we accidently ter'add' each other's id messengers. We have been friends since then, yet we never meet. We joke around and we share everything as we have been friends forever.

To that special friend of mine,
Kak Wardah Abada...
Happy Birthday,
May Allah guide and bless you in any of your endurance. (^-^)

p/s: Adiah takde laa tahun nih..huhuhu


posted by Hana' at 10/28/2005 06:59:00 AM |

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Lailatul Qadar

Assalamualaykum wht,

Alhamdulillah, walau sekarang kondisi badan ala-ala walking zombie, kerja tetap kerja. I just finished my mid-term exam yang kena baca 9 chapters tuh, ditambah case project 8 pages kena siap dalam masa 2 hari, goreng je pape sebab memang taktau apa kejadahnya yang belaku dalam pharmaceutical industry dunia sekarang nih. Secara generalnya, my schedule harian bersendu-sendawa seperti berikut:

(tatau nak mula kat mana..belasah je laa)

4:00ptg - 6:00ptg -> keje
6:00ptg - 7:00mlm -> bukak posa sambil tengok tv, solat maghrib, khidmat diri
7:00mlm - 8:00mlm -> bukak buku skit, tapi mesti ngantuk punye la lepas tuh..jadi..
8:00mlm - 12:00mlm -> tidoo.. :p
12:00mlm - 9:00pg -> solat isya',terawikh, setadi ah konon, buat pape yg patut , sahur, solat subuh, sambung setadi
9:00pg - 2:30ptg -> pegi sekolah
2:30 - 4:00 -> time nih tatau buat apa, sedar2 je dah pukul 4 dah..
4:00ptg - 6:00ptg -> pegi keje balik, each time becoming more like a walking zombie

Pokok pangkalnya, kenapa kena mesti sibuk time Ramadhan..aucchh...
Jadual ini nampaknya akan bertahan dalam masa dua minggu lagi since I have 2 more exams. Tak best, tak best...

8 hari Ramadhan bersisa..
Sume org excited nak cari lailatul Qadar.
Kalau dulu2 kat sekolah, macam2 cerita menarik boleh dengar, satunya berbunyi camnih (musti dah ramai laa yg penah dengar nih,tapi tak kire, nak cite jugak)

Di awal pagi Ramadhan yang hening, ta'kala awan kirmizi malu2 menyapa permukaan langit bumi, sebelum fajar menunjuk diri, berjalan seorang hamba Allah ini seorang diri menuju ke surau kecil di suatu sudut di kampungnya. Suasana pagi terasa mendamai di hati.

Surau kecil yang usang itu mempunyai sebuah perigi yang jernih lagi sejuk airnya. Dari perigi itulah jemaah surau mengangkat air sembahyang mereka saban hari. Maka perlahan-lahan pemuda tersebut menghampiri telaga kecil yang comei itu.

Bersedia dia mahu mengangkat air sembahyang; disingsingkan lengan, di ketepikan selipar, lalu diangkat kopiah putihnya dan diletakkan di atas rimbunan semak belukar di tepi perigi tersebut.

Setelah selesai pemuda itu menyapu air di kaki kirinya, tangannya terus menggapai kopiah putih yang baru sebentar diletakkan di atas rimbunan semak di tepi perigi. Alangkah terperanjatnya pemuda tersebut apabila mendapati kopiahnya sudah hilang, malah yang memeranjatkan pemuda itu lagi, semak yang tadinya merimbun sudah tiada lagi dari pandangan mata. Tiada apa yang mengelilingi perigi tersebut melainkan tanah lapang.

Pemuda tersebut bingung dalam kehairanan atas apa yang berlaku di sekelilingnya.Dalam pada itu, terpandanglah dia akan barisan2 pokok yang tinggi tidak jauh dari kawasan surau usang itu. Semakin di perhatikan pohon2 tinggi tersebut, semakin berdebar-debar hatinya. Sehinggalah matanya terpaku pada sesuatu yang putih (bukan hantu, ok..), tersangkut di puncak salah satu dari pohon2 tersebut. Tidak salah lagi, kopiah putihnya itu tersangkut di celah2 rimbunan dedaun. Maka bertambah-tambahlah kehairanan pemuda itu memikirkan perkara yang seperti magic sahaja baginya.

*Sampai situ je laa orang penah cerita. Perghh..susah rupanya nak tulis karangan dalam bahasa Melayu nih, last time tuleh karangan masa spm kertas Bahasa Melayu 2..kehkeh ;p

Anyway, cerita tersebut akan datang dengan ulasan2 seperti berikut, kebenaran dan kesahihan magicnya malam tersebut tidak la dapat untuk diuulas panjang2, sebab sumber cerita nih pon tak berapa nak ingat dari siapa, tapi dari kengkawan hidayah dulu la:

Malam tersebut mungkin merupakan malam Lailatul-Qadar dimana turunya malaikat ke bumi, dan sujudnya pepohon2 atas tanda keabdian mereka kepada Allah swt. Dan dalam pada itu, ketika detiknya al-Qadr, sujudlah pepohon2 yang berada di sekeliling surau tersebut dan memungkinkan pemuda tersebut meletakkan kopiahnya di atas dedaun pohon yang secara fizikalinya sedang sujud. Haa..magic tak magic tuh..

Apa bestnye malam lailatul Qadr nih?

70,000 malaikat turun dari Sidratul Muntaha ke bumi,membawa rahmat Allah memasuki rumah2 dan memberi salam kepada org islam, kecuali rumah org yg ada anjing. Apabila matahari naik esoknya, para malaikat akan naik beramai2 ke langit secara serentak.
Seperti diriwayatkan Oleh Imam Muslim, Ahmad, Abu Daud dan Tirmidzi:

Bahwa Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda: " Pada saat terjadinya lailat al qodr itu, malam terasa jernih, terang, tenang, cuaca sejuk tidak terasa panas tidak juga dingin. Dan pada pagi harinya matahari terbit dengan jernih terang benderang tanpa tertutup sesuatu awan."

Itu tanda ketika dan selepas datangnya Lailatul-Qadar, tiadalah pula tanda2 sebelum kedatangan malam istemewa itu sendiri yang Allah swt rahsiakan dari pengetahuan kita semua. So, kita kena earn la malam tuh, kan...range dah bagi dah, (menurut pendapat sesetengah ulama' yang saya guna pakai) sepuluh malam terakhir Ramadhan, mungkin juga yang ganjil, malam yang masa satu, wallahu'alam.

21 dan 23 dah lepas dah..tinggal 25, 27 dan 29...mari kita sama-sama rebut kerana kita tak tahu sehembus nafas berlari yang mana yang akan menjadi nafas terakhir kita.



posted by Hana' at 10/26/2005 06:07:00 AM |

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Monday, October 24, 2005

Entry versi Sebok

Assalamualykum wht,

Dalam kesibukan alam persekolahan, bait-bait ini berjaya mengukir seribu warna....

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Warna-warna cinta
Yang terlukis di hatimu
Semat pada senyuman dan tangismu
Agar mewarnai
Jiwamu yang tulus
Seperti sang pelangi selepas gerimis

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Sebok..sebok...sebok...
Sebok ni sampai mati baru dia nak berenti.
Saat genting alam persekolahan, saat genting di akhir Ramadhan.....


Allahumma zidni 'ilma,
Warzuqni fahma..

Rabbana 'atina fiddunya hasanah,
Wa fil 'akhirati hasanah,
Wa qina 'azab-annar
Wadkhilna jannata ma'al abraar...


posted by Hana' at 10/24/2005 09:18:00 AM |

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

To Do or Not to Do

Assalamualaykum wht,

I attended an information session on the MBA program today and my initial feeling of excitement has been transferred into a load amount of anxiety later on that evening.

I was thrilled to be enrolled into this program during the summer next year, because I know I will be coming back to this little, harmony, sweet Bloomington. Based on experiences encountered by some of my graduated friends who have been rolling in the employment market have given me a general idea of how my next phase of life would turn out to be. So, I decided to stay 'immature', avoid all the chaotic of the working environment, and just remain as a student for another 2 years. Because then, I can only continue what I have been doing for 16 years since I already settled in peacefully within my comfort zone.

Or so I thought....

[to be besambung la pulak...]


posted by Hana' at 10/19/2005 06:36:00 AM |

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Ramadhan Kareem

Assalamualaykum wht,


Ubadah Bin Somit ra. meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda pada suatu hari ketika Ramadhan hampir menjelang: "Telah datang kepadamu bulan Ramadhan, di mana Allah melimpah ruahkan di dalamnya dengan keberkatan, menurunkan rahmat, mengampuni dosa-dosa kamu, memakbulkan doa-doa kamu, melihat di atas perlumbaan kamu untuk memperolehi kebaikan yang besar dan berbangga mengenaimu di hadapan malaikat-malaikat. Maka tunjukkanlah kepada Allah Taala kebaikan dari kamu. Sesungguhnya orang yang bernasib malang ialah dia yang dinafikan daripada rahmat Allah pada bulan ini."


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Siri 1 (Amir)

I called Amir, and I was glad that I could reach him despite from the fact that he's in Brunei. Thanks to a very expenssive cellphone I bought him..huhuhuhu. He was called to mengimami solat Terawikh for the whole month and he will return back on the 29th of Ramadhan...that's pretty bad tak dpt posa dekat Guar Perahu.

I feel ashamed because I was being whiny about being alone and everything, but actually my Amir lagi teruk keadaanya.

Along: So, amacam Brunei?

Amir: Bohsaaannn... makanan tak sedap, orang Malaysia masak lagi sedap. Makan nasik pun takde kuah. Amir masak lagi sedap....Tapi barang2 sume mahal tak hingat, bawang sekilo 4 dollar...

[ He was given a house all to himself, ada la perabot skit2, tilam dalam bilik, and a tv. Did I forget to mention that he's a good cook? :). He has been a part time chef in our family, the first time I ate his cooking when he was in standard 3, umor baru 9 tahun...---> pepedal masak kicap, maarrbeless!!! ]

Along: Ame tak pi jenjalan ke dekat2 situ, pi shopping complex ke, pasar Ramadhan ke?

Amir: Tak de pape pun kat sini, shopping complex dia pun ala2 80-an, pasar ramadhan apa satu tak nampak...Tak dak apa nak buat kat sini, tengok tv je la...

Along: Tengok cite apa, dengaq menyanyi2 kat belakang tuh..

Amir: Ngehehe..tengok cite hindustan, beli dekat kedai..shah rukh khan, rani mokhraje pun ada...tv brunei nih tak dak apa, ceramah je memanjang...

Along: (kehkeh..boleh tahan jugak adik aku nih, tok imam tok imam pun :p.....*well,I can feel his loneliness dok sengsorang, tak de pape nak buat..) Duit sume cukup ke? Tak beli jajan ke apa?

Amir: Puasa...tak de jajan2.., duit pun tinggai $5 je nih..kering aaa..

Along: Laa...Along pun tak tau nak hantar duit kat Amir camne...

Amir: Ehhee (malu2 ayam plak dia..) Takpe, Amir tunggu mak balik karang.

*Kesian kat Amir, dah la dok sengsorang, takde pape nak buat, and he told me dia buat satu muka surat 5 rakaat sebabnya makmum dia kata panjang sangat, kalau tak dia buat satu muka surat 3 rakaat..Ehehe..tak paham la org Brunei nih..Kaya2 sume, tapi pelik2 skit..jemput org punye la jauh, datang baca pendek2 je.. :)


Siri 2 (Ahmad)

Ahmad (darjah 3), Aman (darjah 5) ngan Tok duduk bertiga je untuk bulan puasa nih, sementara tunggu Mak Abah balik dari Mekah. Alhamdulillah Bang Ju ngan Kak Nora ada hantar sahur ngan juadah berbuka hari2.

Ahmad nih memang terkenal dengan suke ponteng kelasnya. So, I thought mak abah takde nih makin giat la dia memontengkan diri.

Along: Ahmad pi sekolah tak hari nih?

Ahmad: Along...sekarang ni pukul brapa?

Along: Haa...oo, pukul 1:30 ptg. (Ni sapa yg tanya sapa nih tatau la..)

Ahmad: Haaa..kalau pukul 1 lebih tu sekolah dah habis la...

Along: (Bagusnye adik aku nih...mak takde pun bole pi sekolah sendiri.. :))

Ahmad: Tapi Ahmad tak pi sekolah hari nih...hehehehe...

Along: (hampehhhh.....) :p


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Mari bersama mengguna pakai setiap detik Ramadhan yang masih tersisa ini, insyaAllah.

Abu Hurairah ra. meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Terdapat tiga jenis orang yang doa mereka tidak ditolak; doa daripada orang yang berpuasa sehinggalah dia berbuka puasa; imam (penguasa) yang adil, dan orang yang dizalimi yang kerana doanya itu Allah mengangkatnya melepasi awan dan membuka untuknya pintu-pintu langit dan Allah berfirman: "Daku bersumpah demi kemuliaanKu, sesungguhnya Daku pasti menolongmu walaupun pada suatu masa nanti."


Abu Hurairah ra. meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Barangsiapa berbuka satu hari di siang hari bulan Ramadhan tanpa alasan yang wajar (disegi syariah) atau sakit yang kuat, tidak akan dapat menampung atau mengganti hari tersebut walaupun akan berpuasa sehingga ke akhir hayatnya."


posted by Hana' at 10/11/2005 01:34:00 PM |

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Sunday, October 09, 2005

Assalamualaykum wht,

Dipanjangkan pahala dari hairummaqam

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Dari Hatim Al-Asom : "Terburu-buru itu termasuk sifat syaitan, kecuali pada lima tempat" , maka ia termasuk sunnah Rasulullah SAW 1) Memberi makan tetamu, bila ia datang berkunjung. 2) Menyiapkan perkuburan mayat bila telah mati. 3) Mengahwinkan anak perempuan, bila cukup umur. 4) Membayar hutang, bila telah sampai masanya. 5) Bertaubat dari dosa! , bila ia telah melakukannya.

SaAt GeMbIrA PuJiLaH ALLAH...sAaT kEsUkArAn CaRiLaH ALLAH...SaAt kEsUnYiAn CaRiLaH ALLAH...sAaT kEsAkItAn YaKiNlAh ALLAH...SaAt DeMi SaAt,TeRiMa KaSiH ALLAH...

Kata2 imam al Ghazali "Apabila kamu suka kepada seseorang itu, maka sukalah dgn berpada Berpada pada kerana mungkin pada suatu hari nanti kamu akan membencinya. Apabila kamu benci kepada seseorang itu, maka bencilah dgn berpada pada, kerana mungkin pada suatu hari nanti kamu akan menyukainya" 'sahabat itu dilihat dari agama ...' Setinggi-tinggi ukhuwwah ialah ithar (mengutamakan org lain dari kepntgn dirinya) , manakala serenda- rendah ukhuwwah ialah salamatus sodri (berbaik sangka)....


posted by Hana' at 10/09/2005 02:56:00 PM |

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Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Loneliness on the first of Ramadhan

Assalamualaykum wht,

I wanted to cry,
I wanted to cry big time,
I wanted to cry like I never cried before in my whole life....



30 Sya'ban, 15 minutes before Maghrib


House all clean,
Laundry all fresh,
Mind all content,
Everything is all prepared,
I was waiting for the great visitor to come,
The visitor that I had been waiting for, since one year ago...


1 Ramadhan, 15 minutes after Maghrib


I called mak's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,
I wish to ask for her doa that may this Ramadhan be the best of Ramadhan for all of us
I wish to whisper to her all my doa,
so that she can present them in the best way possible in Makkah al-Mukarramah,
I wish to say good bye, and please do come back safely,
I called many times,
Ten times,
No, twenty maybe...
It hurts,
It hurts real badly when I need to hear her voice the most,
she wasn't there....

I called Amir's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,

I called Ammar's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,

I called Ahmad's cellphone,
No tone, no answer

It hurts real badly when I need to hear their voices the most,
They weren't there....

I missed the time when I shared the joy of Ramadhan with all my family,
The 1st time, the 2nd time, or the 3rd time without them seemed fine at first,
But maybe not for the 4th time,
Maybe it's too much for me,
Maybe this Ramadhan I am too crazy about having my family around me,
I miss sitting on the floor during iftar because the two big tables already full with 35 other people,
I miss lining up in front of the toilet, chatting with another 3 or 4 people,
I miss brushing my teeth in the toilet while my cousin taking her wudhu',
I miss riding the crowded car to the masjid together after iftar,
I miss Ammar's voice leading the Terawikh at the masjid,
I wish to hear Amir's voice leading the Terawikh at the masjid,
I wish to be around them the whole time during Ramadhan....


At this point of time when I thought I am all prepared to welcome my Ramadhan,
I feel the weirdest feeling of loneliness overwhelming my air, my breath,
And I know I am not prepared to welcome this feeling at all.....


posted by Hana' at 10/06/2005 05:52:00 AM |

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