Ya Muqallibal-Quluub,
Thabbit Qulubana 'ala Diinik

About Me
Hana' Wan Harun aka Hana' Fathiah
Married to the macho Mazri Mahmood
Guar Perahu,
Bkt Mertajam,Penang
Bloomington,IN
Tanjung Malim, Perak
Love travelling, books,
nasyeed, outdoor
Rebutia, Anime



Highly Recommended
alMaghrib
Durbah
EmanRush
Khutbah
MisgOnline

MalaysianMade

Indiana University
Indiana University, Bloomington
Webmail
Oncourse
Onestart
Insite
SRSC
Find People
C Bus
E Bus

Friends
Mazri Mahmood
Judd
Muiz
Brother Faiz
Shah
WanZu
Imran
Zaid
Zakri
Zacharias
Yeop Mayuru
Irfan
Kak Lynn
Kak Sarimah
Kak Ina
Kak Amy
Maisarah
Asriah
Fairuz
Awla
Insyirah
Dot
Afzan
Futuredoc

Media
Utusan
Berita Harian
Harakah
Aljazeera
CNN
Ikim
Radio Ummah
Radio Nurhidayah
Misg.fm

Stuff
Hotmail
Yahoo
Gmail
My Friendster
My Fotopages 1
My Fotopages 2
Resepi Mesra.net
Fruits Basket
IUCU
Providian
Maybank2u

Archives
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
October 2007
November 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
July 2009

Tagboard
Name :
Web URL :
Message :
:) :( :D :p :(( :)) :x

Credits
Blogger
Blogskins
Layout


Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Loneliness on the first of Ramadhan

Assalamualaykum wht,

I wanted to cry,
I wanted to cry big time,
I wanted to cry like I never cried before in my whole life....



30 Sya'ban, 15 minutes before Maghrib


House all clean,
Laundry all fresh,
Mind all content,
Everything is all prepared,
I was waiting for the great visitor to come,
The visitor that I had been waiting for, since one year ago...


1 Ramadhan, 15 minutes after Maghrib


I called mak's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,
I wish to ask for her doa that may this Ramadhan be the best of Ramadhan for all of us
I wish to whisper to her all my doa,
so that she can present them in the best way possible in Makkah al-Mukarramah,
I wish to say good bye, and please do come back safely,
I called many times,
Ten times,
No, twenty maybe...
It hurts,
It hurts real badly when I need to hear her voice the most,
she wasn't there....

I called Amir's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,

I called Ammar's cellphone,
No tone, no answer,

I called Ahmad's cellphone,
No tone, no answer

It hurts real badly when I need to hear their voices the most,
They weren't there....

I missed the time when I shared the joy of Ramadhan with all my family,
The 1st time, the 2nd time, or the 3rd time without them seemed fine at first,
But maybe not for the 4th time,
Maybe it's too much for me,
Maybe this Ramadhan I am too crazy about having my family around me,
I miss sitting on the floor during iftar because the two big tables already full with 35 other people,
I miss lining up in front of the toilet, chatting with another 3 or 4 people,
I miss brushing my teeth in the toilet while my cousin taking her wudhu',
I miss riding the crowded car to the masjid together after iftar,
I miss Ammar's voice leading the Terawikh at the masjid,
I wish to hear Amir's voice leading the Terawikh at the masjid,
I wish to be around them the whole time during Ramadhan....


At this point of time when I thought I am all prepared to welcome my Ramadhan,
I feel the weirdest feeling of loneliness overwhelming my air, my breath,
And I know I am not prepared to welcome this feeling at all.....


posted by Hana' at 10/06/2005 05:52:00 AM |

~~~*~~~